Lisa Vanderburg

2 years ago · 3 min. reading time · visibility 0 ·

chat Contact the author

thumb_up Relevant message Comment

A brand new Skin!

     

For those beautiful hearts that took the time to read and respond (although response is not necessary, it is appreciated!) to my prior buzz Shedding Skins, I thought it time to offer you an update; a ‘progress report’, if you will. 

A brand new Skin!Learning to
love my new
54)

P
#

XV aid

R37. LL


As life must have meaning, it seems I have spent an outragious amount of time seeking my purpose, that most elusive of qualities. One of many bad habits......

Before, when I’ve squeezed every bitter drop from life’s lemons (although technically they’re sour, not bitter….) and found the offering scant and meaningless, I tended to hold my breath. It’s way more expedient and definitely more immediate. Can’t say the same for lemons!  I’d even go so far to say I naturally hold a certain reluctance to breathe; a default position of quiet but petulant protest.


I have spent at least half my life not breathing, and I’m still here.
Lisa Vanderburg


Not having a purpose is exhausting. Regardless of the perception of others, one's own concept of raison d'être is the difference between life and death. Yes, sounds very melodramatic, but let me explain: that word (for me anyhoo) has kept me encased in a dark and leaky tomb. It was a ruse, a deliberate show-stopper that blocked out all light. It kept me transfixed and unable to move on. 


I know that now.



“What a weary time those years were -- to have the desire and the need to live but not the ---ability.”
Charles Bukowski

But then, someone happened along at just the right time…


And, armed only with his bared heart, he broke me out; this is Dr. Ed Lewellen; quite a few of you will know him!

‘You are Purpose-less’ - that dreadful self-fulfilling accusation that kept me bound in failure was to be flicked out of my head with all the ceremony of a dispatched head louse. Reluctant though I was, he wasn’t having any of it. My essence of certitude; that it really doesn’t matter what anyone says because ‘I don’t believe you’ doesn’t cut it, apparently.


This was one of many revelations I’ve had during and following my sessions with Ed. I never wanted to see a ‘shrink’ as a couple of siblings had later in life and it didn’t help. Apologies to those in the field of Psychiatry - it’s not you, it’s us.


Ed has an entirely unique set of very powerful skills are truly forged in his humanity, not his accreditations...although those too are significant. His humility alone should not belong to just one man!  At first I couldn’t even understand what he was even asking of me, his Q&A was ‘too simple’ for me to get - there's great beauty in that, no?

I was thrown that he didn’t want any ‘details’ about my past, yet he waited for me with such patience and gentleness, to simply understand his language. I was frustrated, so I did what I do best; held my breath.


“hie then

3 thelr e,
andthelast.,,

losept Hates

source




But ultimately, curiosity at his sheer staying power won out. I always thought he was a business counsellor - an understatement that’s downright rude in hindsight. :)


In my belief, he is a true empath...with a twist: He has learned the art of control over this awesome gift that makes most of us run or hide. What is so very significant is the tools that he uses to arm this weapon of his; agape love, joy, compassion and a very deep desire to heal.


I’ve a long way to go on my journey. Yet I know this: Ed freed me to finally move and, as for breathing?

e14c5111.jpg


We all get caught on the tide of life. We may just be snagged on flotsam, or find ourselves in a riptide. Sometimes we're are smashed senseless by unrelenting forces. For me, I was losing the desire to stay afloat...life is downright tiring. But I gotta job to do and I intend on finding joy and laughter in it.


This is for you, dear Dr. Ed Lewellen.  https://youtu.be/gjbNbApxMCo

You've drawn me from the tempestuous waters into a safe haven. Your patience has given me rest; your sheer joy has ignited a deep desire to fully live that I'd long forgotten. I am deeply grateful and will eagerly tend to those precious seeds you have given me to sow!





thumb_up Relevant message Comment
Comments

Fay Vietmeier

1 year ago #28

Lisa Vanderburg Thank you for being interested. It is in my "top 3 of drafts" Currently working on "Value what is Valuable" I'm working through some issue related to my humble, tiny business: Aletheia My writing style is like my healing style ;~) I write down many thoughts then try to put them in order ... then peel away ... prayerfully arrange the words till they feel right ;~) I must be at peace ... when much "presses in" I feel divided & distracted ;~) ... When the post is done I'll let you know...

Lisa Vanderburg

1 year ago #27

#32
Thanks Fay Vietmeier! I'd love to see that draft, did you publish it?

Fay Vietmeier

1 year ago #26

Lisa Vanderburg Lisa~ I loved the image you chose to put with your words … “Learning to love new skin” In my own healing process “human-onion” came to me There is a peeling away of layers that entails tears … then healing Another peeling away: more tears … more healing As I just stated on one of Ali’s posts: GROWTH is a continuous process … so is healing In my famous pile of "drafts" is "The human-onion process and the fractal nature of human beings"

love it and shared with friends

Claire L Cardwell

2 years ago #24

Lisa Vanderburg was an excellent business coach and have always enjoyed his insightful comments and writing. So glad to hear that you have gone on your healing journey and are now free to dance again!

We've learned how to repurpose everyday items in surprising ways so why not do the same with life. Here's to happiness and good health Lisa Vanderburg.

Ken Boddie

2 years ago #22

Royalty never yields to adversity, your Grace, but thrives on the challenge. Nil ilegitimus carborundum.

Ian Weinberg

2 years ago #21

Where there’s life, there’s hopeLisa Vanderburg. Change happens when the receptive flame is stoked. Here’s to value contribution and meaningful, gratified evolution 🥂

Lisa Vanderburg

2 years ago #20

#21
You are so right, darling Cyndi wilkins. And thank you! We all suffer. It is far from a right of passage, it's just baggage. I know (simply because I'm old enough), that my old self is right there...waiting for me in accusation. Like that film 'Beautiful Minds' that self is going to do its damndest to re-instate itself. Whether it bests me or I it; that remains unwritten. For now, I am doing whatever time allows to invite the kid in me to get up to no good!! :)

#22
Yes, you guessed me right. I am the first one on the right side. I hope you liked my long hair and belt.

Lisa Vanderburg

2 years ago #18

#20
Now that, is a great pic! Did I get it right? I'm pretty sure I did. The the ayes have it; a perfect pun for someone who went to Uni in East Anglia :)

Cyndi wilkins

2 years ago #17

This is one of those transformational stories that begs all of us to 'take a knee' and just BREATHE....When something triggers us we tend to tighten our jaw and slam all the doors...But in essence, all we are doing is giving that hurt part of ourselves the cold shoulder....and then blame others for our misery. Bad things happen to everyone...but not everyone handles trauma in the same way...even if it's the same trauma that one has developed extreme PTSD over...Many develop of degree of tolerance by not slamming those doors, but rather opening them with compassion and trying to understand the root of their pain. For many of us, the roots run very deep, going back several generations...we are just conduits recycling the energies of our ancestors. When we heal, they heal... Sounds like you have found a compassionate ally who has challenged you not to be haunted by your past any longer Lisa Vanderburg;-)

#19
The feelings are mutual. I am sending you now by e-mail an old photo of mine while at the Kuwait Institute for Scientific Research. Guess who I am in the picture.

Lisa Vanderburg

2 years ago #15

#18
....I so missed you!

#17
I told you my friend words are like a ball and you "play" it wonderfully.

Lisa Vanderburg

2 years ago #13

#16
I can adjective all night with the best of them, my friend! :)

#13
Just as I am collecting my mind in preparation for my next buzz you dear Lisa Vanderburg write "stubborn acrophobic donkey up a sheer mountain with roller skates on!" This is because part of the ideas I am entertaining is hdrophobic and hydrophilic. Now, you add another possibility with your word acrophobic. You make the possibilities unlimited.

Lisa Vanderburg

2 years ago #11

My manners....thank y'all for sharing too!

Lisa Vanderburg

2 years ago #10

#11
Oh - I can't wait...thank you my dear Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee were to conjoin, you'd pump for the world..... :) #12 Randall Burns It's actually really wonderful to come at y'all with something...good, for a change, so thank you for being there! Oh, and I can dance again - recently remembered to put on MUSIC!! That's a blast :)

Lisa Vanderburg

2 years ago #9

#9
#10 haha....NOW you got me laughing, dear Edward Lewellen! It must've been a little like pulling a reluctant stubborn acrophobic donkey up a sheer mountain with roller skates on! I applaud you for having the staying power - I was not titled 'Madam Bad-Ass' without reason :) Seriously though, for every moment you waited, every time you had that 1000-yard stare as you pondered; thank you, thank you. It was a privilege to behold!

Randall Burns

2 years ago #8

Great post Lisa Vanderburg We're never too old to learn, that is a purpose unto itself. :-) (Not to mention live, dance, love and be joyful)

#9
I have dedicated my buzz "Remontada" to our friend Lisa Vanderburg https://www.bebee.com/producer/@ali-anani/remontada to welcome her return as she is "finally free to live, dance, love, and be joyful. The journey she and I took together has been extraordinary!"

Lisa Vanderburg

2 years ago #6

#7
yeah...I saw that Kim Wheeler. I may have gotten two days of it mixed up (that that what I say counts in this respect), but I am thinking of you...praying you'll be safe...

Lisa Vanderburg

2 years ago #5

Thank you all! Kim Wheeler; I hear you and love you too...plz email! Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee would say initially (when I wasn't getting it) something like 'okay, think of this...'', and I just kept saying 'I'm can't. It's not permissible.' Like some sort of automated reply :) Our friend is a star! Thank you Ren\u00e9e \ud83d\udc1d Cormier - bless you! Sooo happy for opaque lenses Pascal Derrien...I can't stand watching myself prattling on video like a rabid ferret. This aging malarkey is gettin' OLD :) Thanks dude!

Pascal Derrien

2 years ago #4

Humans do what they can not always what they want and that's alright, external lens are for the most part opaque what is important is what you want to see (in) yourself....the rest is academic. PS: Well done YOU :-)

Harvey Lloyd

2 years ago #3

Enjoyed the journey you have exposed. Much Happiness and contentment.

Renée 🐝 Cormier

2 years ago #2

My darling Lisa Vanderburg, for some reason we humans have got it in our heads that we are supposed to achieve something in our lives that will somehow change the world. You can change the world, Lisa, but how you do it is very simple. Choose to live in joy, self-love, self-respect and appreciation. Seek out what lights your fire and do the things that give you the most pleasure. Your personal joy will fill you up and your need to find the illusive "purpose" will leave you as you realize your one true purpose is to live joyfully. If each person on this planet truly loved and respected themselves (warts and all), then, there would be plenty of love and compassion in the world to give others.There would be no war, poverty, climate crisis, abuse, crime, starvation, or any other ill of society. People who do not love and respect themselves fully have nothing to give to others and tear apart everything and everyone around them. Your purpose is to love and respect who you are and to love every moment you are in and to give your love and respect freely to others. If you have it for yourself, you will have it to give others. If you do not have it for yourself, then you will be unable to give anything to anyone else. The stronger that connection to your inner self, the better. Now that you know your real purpose, my sister, walk the path to self-love and self-respect. Don't be so hard on yourself. You are more than good enough, despite what others may have told you.

My dear Lisa Vanderburg. As I have had great experiences with Ed, I know you are right in every word you attributed to him. This buzz makes my day for it is great to see the new seed nourished and started to grow. Million thanks to you and Ed.

More articles from Lisa Vanderburg

View blog
3 years ago · 2 min. reading time

Love and JOY!

After the ouchie of my recent buzz Love and Loss, ...

3 years ago · 2 min. reading time

Love and loss

This is a true story told through the eyes of a ch ...

3 years ago · 2 min. reading time

But, how to get rid of the body.....?

Oddly, I often wonder (with more than a bit of awe ...