You CAN see through others eyes
Time is not my own. That said, I'm sure if I was to manage it properly, I would have some time! It is laziness or a lost art - bit of both? Actually, it the manifestation of chaos..... :)
Generally I write about medical stuff - badly; in cranky tones. I'm a med-brat, and Parkinson's is my staple as my hubby's now 18-years in. He was 49 when this started. Feel free to do the math, but I'm not here to talk about that plague :)
Rather, I'm here to talk about love...through complete strangers. Lemme say that I'm a transfer from LI, like a lot of you. I'm not actually looking for a job; I'm searching for my raison d'être.
I don't get much time, but I've reconnected with a few and met others who are ringing my bell...!!
Max J Carter with The basis of intuition and the power of your voice
which followed on from No really, what's an Empath?
LOVE this guys way of thinking!
Gerald Hecht My scientist of note: brilliant, delightful and FUNNY. For my med-side - he's the man, and he makes me walk the path, God love him!
Gerald Hecht's beautifully crafted and thoughtful articles on senses: all here. She had written a particularly pertinent one about the sense of smell. Wow...what a doozy! I did actually reply with an experience, but apparently it was too long. So I tuned it down - nope. No matter.
But this is not about accolades nor about ass-kissing. It's about opening your eyes. Without further preamble, I'll get on then.
I don’t get out much anymore. As a child, I’d escape our house and go walkabout in the dead of night for hours – I had mastered the arts of silence and invisibility. No one ever knew. I don’t recall why it started, but it had something to do with escape and catching fireflies. I met my first rat when I was 5; big bastard he was too. The Mississippi had flooded that year (we lived at the top of a hill in Davenport, Iowa and if you stood on the corner of our plot, you could see the enormous river some 10 blocks down a steep hill) and left, in its receding wake, a few million fish. Newspapers reported that babies were being eaten alive in their cots by this army of frenzied rodents. Mothers stood guard over her brood with corn-brooms as weapons, apparently. That big-ass rat and me stared at each other – I think it was the only living thing that ever caught me (gimme a break…I was a wee kid), but I stared him out and he scurried his bloated belly off.
As an adult I went walkabout in unknown territories – the scarier the better, but natural places…who wants to be surrounded by a sea of humans when nature’s whispers are so very....perfect! It’s hard to squeeze all this cloak-n’-dagger stuff in when you work 80 hours a week (as y’all well know!), have a family you want only time with. So, my sprees were ‘seasonal’.
It was, in these moments, I felt at peace and very much alive. The heightened sense of awareness was the perfect music to my physical state of being part of life. A natural high and the ultimate salve.
As demands on my person become greater, I have had to give some things up. The first to go was walkabout. It was only some time after I stopped, I realized something in me was…dying. The touch of a tree-skin breathing through my palm, the breeze the breath of the earth – allowing me in, the ground forgiving my footsteps, my eyes being so very privileged to witness God’s glory in his creation – to see it as it should be; untainted. The tactile smell of rain, earth, rotting, renewing - a balance I humbly revered.
That was a while back. I had lost an essential part of what my soul hankered for: life. It’s interesting how much this has ‘changed’ me. Allow me to outline some of these:
I am more cynical.
I have lost my ‘life-force’.
My body is going south!
My hope is fading.
My faith is all but left.
But, without question, the greatest loss: the thing I have run from since born is catching up with me: damage. I have managed to escape (barely at times) this 're-wiring', but no longer. It has seeped back into my being. The ramifications are now been transferred over to my beloveds, and I'm losing them; muddled into age and disease and natural separation. It pains me more than anything. I would go walkabout now, but I have a task that I must finish with as much empathy and courage is left; my husband's life and ultimate death. He will NOT go to a home.
I haven’t been on Bebee long – still trying to get used to the format! But – for once – I see a glimmer. I see such intelligent and soulful promise – if not for me than for others. Quite a vista for tired eyes.
I think it is the way of things, no? Is it not right to know when to relinquish and hand the baton onto others. Yes, I’m a little young , but I tire. I’ve had a life that I shouldn’t have survived from decades ago. I knew it by age 17.
Keep it up, lovely hearts – I’m thrilled by your being! You refill this weary being! You are bringing me such a gift: hope.
I have been gone awhile and I have missed many spl ...
After the ouchie of my recent buzz Love and Loss, ...
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