DILEMMA
Dilemma.
It’s a delicious word; one I keep repeating. I find myself rolling it ‘round my mouth until my tongue splits like a serpent. Why is that? It’s a two-tined word.
'1520s, from Late Latin dilemma, from Greek dilemma "double proposition," a technical term in rhetoric, from di- "two" + lemma "premise, anything received or taken," from root of lambanein "to take" (see lemma). It should be used only of situations where someone is forced to choose between two alternatives, both unfavorable to him. But even logicians disagree on whether certain situations are dilemmas or mere syllogisms.' Courtesy of etymonline.com
So, as my first offering on my own bleedin’ hive, I’d like to talk about Moral dilemma and Ethical dilemma; is there a difference? Some would say yes and some will make the distinction between morals and ethics are ‘one (morals), children are taught, the other one (ethics), is what adults draws upon’. Two fascinating articles take a different vantage point. University Of New York talks of the derivation of both words, and University of Alberta, CA tackles the slight, but important differences between each.
Either way, it is a question of philosophical approach as well as being one’s conscious guide; one’s ‘Jiminy Cricket’!
If anyone has not read the book or seen the movie, 'Sophie's Choice' is an example of extreme dilemma that has probably been repeated in real life a billion times over. So just to avoid confusion, I’m not talking the other end, like a FB message that says ‘shall I have cream or milk with my coffee today…’
No matter how you want to split your hairs, these dilemmas are part of everyday life. They are the basis for debate; a good a healthy controlled exchange, and (no matter how insignificant, it’s probably the most important) - the basis for teaching your children both manners and how to behave.
That established, allow me to bring forth a dilemma…I have millions, but this is more ‘current’, and I have to clean up a bit of a mess I was unintentionally culpable in.
The irony is not lost on me that while our global leaders are ‘swingin’ dicks’ (apologies AGAIN Susan 🐝 Rooks, the Grammar Goddess!), there has been some of the same happening here, on Bebee…I’m overwrought, and in defese (I'm actually shuddering) of LI, I NEVER had these sort of 'to-do's' there. What I do find curious on a superior social/business platform such as this and LI, is just how far the males will go. They are not unscathed by it; they just pretend to be. The women are far too savvy to play, except maybe Deb 🐝 Helfrich and Deb 🐝 Helfrich - balls of steel. Rather hoping its good sense and not actually ‘vulnerability’…because it only takes a couple of bulls…… my jury of one is out on that one! Despite my unwavering support for the one I supported (that loyalty hasn’t and won’t change), I’m left with the feeling of compromising my moralities – how culpable was I that things grew to redonkulous proportions? There are both men and women here who will NOT play - they have my admiration when they also have the kudos; let's stick to the wimmin: Deb 🐝 Helfrich, Cyndi wilkins, Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador, Deb 🐝 Helfrich, Joanne Gardocki, Lisa 🐝 Gallagher, Liesbeth Leysen, MSc. Brand Ambassador beBee, Inc., Franci🐝Eugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador. Just a few that negotiate or not, in a massively skillful environment. What it tells me is that things have not changed that much, but where they have......it's HUGE!
Taking sides is costly – no matter the purest of reasons. Like supporting your candidate REGARDLESS of your belief in their rightness, it is expensive and you become labled. I don’t regret my support, but I recognise the cost.
Thus, my question for today: how far are you willing to go to support someone you admire and trust on Social/business media? What does it cost you in terms of dilemma?
For you Joyce 🐝 Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee - the Queen Bee of takin' no shite!How'ya like them apples, Sara Jacobovici :)
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Comments
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #68
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #67
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #66
Personally, I find the whole idea of children-to- adolescence v. social media terrifying. There is no doubt in my mind that the internet is too wonderful and will therefore lead to our demise. Children can be sufficiently awful without it!
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #65
Darn tootin' CityVP \ud83d\udc1d Manjit! If I could reiterate your whole comment, I would, but 'Being called out is not a form of bullying but a signal that there is no relationship.' Never a truer statement for mature adults! I agree that the age of reaching maturity is a huge band; seems to me that is particularly so in the first world, where the disparity between mature '21-year olds' appears enormous....could be I'm just getting old.
CityVP Manjit
6 years ago #64
Even though coming of age is meant to be a right of passage, it is also an assumption that this is when the teenage brain matures into the adult brain. Sometimes the difference between 19 and 25 can be night and day, so there is no magic 21 for any of us. There are ways of mitigating reckless behaviour but there are so many factors and variables that mean we need to understand a child in the context of their given experiences and development. I would not be surprised to learn of people whose actual coming of age was 37 !!! At the same time a very upright and mature individual can have a moment of extreme childishness because after all, we are only human and having an adult brain does not necessarily confer adult behaviour. Maturity is as rational as irrationality and whether it is brutal girls, macho boys or soccer moms, I think we all have moments in our lives which are not our finer moments. What we don't want in those moments is someone to become the action replay booth. It is uncomfortable to have someone replay our actions when we know that those actions were not ones where we were at our best. Being called out is not a form of bullying but a signal that there is no relationship. If we have a relationship, we protect and nurture relationships, but whether it is a teenage brain not wired for sensitivities or insensitive moron who has the relationship of a pile of pigswill, there is a point where we become mindful of a relationship and feedback. As we evolve as human beings, we hopefully will also evolve in our ability to create quality relationships. Not political correctness or being woke, but the recognition that we will fail more than we succeed in developing quality relationships that are limited also by our scope.
Cyndi wilkins
6 years ago #63
Well...I was only twelve at the time;-) I've learned a lot about letting boys be boys since then... Still applies when they are men;-) I'll tell you what though, guys are a hell of lot easier on each other than we lil' bitches at that age...My daughter is in middle school now and these girls are brutal...posting inappropriate photos and bad mouthing classmates online to humiliate them to their peers...THAT is the kind of stuff that worries me more than anything...Children do not have the mental maturity at this age to discern and think for themselves when being bullied...and too often these things lead to horrible tragedies...This is where we should ALL be focusing more of our attention...What kind of example are we setting for our children?
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #62
#69 It's good to know it's not just me (quasi-human) that can mess up.... ;)
Cyndi wilkins
6 years ago #61
I guess I'd rather be a dolphin than a seal...especially after watching that video;-)
CityVP Manjit
6 years ago #60
There are certain characteristics of animal kingdom ritual that human beings still have kinship and machismo is just one element in the bag of ego that convinces some that they are being men of reason, when the reality would only be known if we got David Attenborough to narrate in the distance. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fQI5KUfM2xc "The male seals begin to taunt each other and this exposes the weakest of the herd, but in the distance something unusual has occurred, a single dolphin (with a sizeable brain) tries to come to the aid of the weakest seal and the seals do not appreciate the interaction of this species. The dolphin immediately retreats realizing it has made life more rather than easier for the weakest in the seal herd" It is not so much lessons learned for me as observing life the way David Attenborough would look at it - pull back and watch the show and then try to figure out what brews behind the behaviour.
Cyndi wilkins
6 years ago #59
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #58
Amen, brother CityVP \ud83d\udc1d Manjit - thank you so much for your thoughtful and witty comments! I agree; I like diversity...would be a very dull play without it. And I love your understanding of 'batty-boys' & catty girls :) It's refreshing to jump in each other's sand-pits and get a bit gritty, just leave the mace, arrows and shiv out, or there will be tears before bedtime! :)
CityVP Manjit
6 years ago #57
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #56
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #55
YOUR smile, sugar...mine's more of a grimace :)
Cyndi wilkins
6 years ago #54
" Take into account those authors that take a reasonable statement that does not align with their post/buzz, and use it to pulverize the commenter." Agreed...So down regulate the emotion...Anger begets anger...so choose the opposing energy of gratitude instead by responding to such behavior peacefully...That in and of itself is empowering to YOU...the RESPONDER...Nothing is more disarming than a smile...Sure...they may shoot you in the head for it, but you'll go down smiling;-) Okay, I'll shut up now and let 'da boys' talk!
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #53
lol....why did'ja have to go all straight-forward with me Chas \u270c\ufe0f Wyatt :)
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #52
You are my muse too, dear Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee - thank you!
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #51
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #50
Ali Anani
6 years ago #49
that you contributed this comment mirrors the lively discussions on this platform. Tbhank you Lisa Vanderburg and keep on writing
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #48
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #47
This is how it SHOULD BE, lovely Cyndi wilkins, that we are responsible to help others in encouragement and understanding. Alas, we also have to take into account those authors that take a reasonable statement that does not align with their post/buzz, and use it to pulverize the commenter, instead of either asking politely for clarification or 'overlooking' it. Again, both sexes are equally capable of offence!
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #46
Sara Jacobovici It is the very least...you have shown me so much! Going back to your #11 comment, you said, 'From my perspective, my expectations remain the same whenever I engage with others. Put less poetically, people are still people.' That's so true...eventually they will reveal their 'real' selves, the true depth of their authenticity. It's an important lesson to remember! Apologies in I'm standing on your sand-box in the following Sara Jacobovici, my friend - I know you won't mind! And this is NOT a gender thing! Both sexes are equally capable of moral 'slides'. Hell, I'm technically an 'it' (whole she-bang removed)! :)
Sara Jacobovici
6 years ago #45
What a gift to get a Lisa Vanderburg response. Thank you!
Cyndi wilkins
6 years ago #44
Anne 🐝 Thornley-Brown, MBA
6 years ago #43
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #42
#48 I'm beginning to understand that how a person perceives their written words is not necessarily the same as 'we' interpret them. This coming from a person who spent AGES working out what IMHO meant :) 2 gourds short of a pumpkin patch....
Anne 🐝 Thornley-Brown, MBA
6 years ago #41
It could be multiple personalities too. I had one who posted some new age mumbo-jumbo. It was most odd. I wrote to her privately. She took the private contents of my message and posted it in a group. I ignored her as she was attempting to start a fight. She came over here. Same story. Reminded me of the original encounter. I ignored her. She posted really odd stuff about having encounters with archangels. Best to keep one's distance when they are that out of touch with reality.
Anne 🐝 Thornley-Brown, MBA
6 years ago #40
Cyndi wilkins
6 years ago #39
Ha Ha! Well I sure as sheeeet ain't in no penthouse Miss Lisa;-) LOL!
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #38
& #41 I'm two floors shy of the high-rise....do we even use that expression any more? Good points, both!
Cyndi wilkins
6 years ago #37
Great point Anne \ud83d\udc1d Thornley-Brown, MBA...It is important to remember that we have no idea what is going on in the minds of others...and sometimes those elevators just don't reach those top floors;-)
Anne 🐝 Thornley-Brown, MBA
6 years ago #36
Interesting as the incident that inspired my blog post about rude people involved a woman on LinkedIn. I don't think rudeness has any sex. I think your approach is a good one though. Stick to people you know. It's strange though. In that instance, I had interacted with the person on beBee yet her attack on LinkedIn said it was the first time we were interacting. Alzheimer's perhaps. We have to remember that this is a real possibility.
Robert Cormack
6 years ago #35
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #34
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #33
Now that is what we all need reminding of (well...okay; me), that there is ALWAYS another way if we want to really advance for reasons that altruistic and not merely include ourselves. You are priceless in your wisdom and clarity Harvey Lloyd - thank you! I'd've finished this comment by now, but the thought police showed up and gave me something to thing about...what was it? I'm rather hoping one of the other magnificent women here will answer the question you left bottom of #24. Dang, my next post was going to be 'Why are Sympathies so concerned about our souls?'...guess I'll give that a miss :)
Harvey Lloyd
6 years ago #32
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #31
You have so pegged me rightly Cyndi wilkins, I don't even need a rack to spill the beans :) Yes, I sure a sheeet have unresolved issues in that arena; David v Goliath stuff when I was between 3 - 5 foot 6 inches. Defending the vulnerable from behemoth devils requires a bigger pebble...took me YEARS to learn that! You are a delight and I thank you for your immense understanding...and not racking me :) sweet friend! Love you too!
Robert Cormack
6 years ago #30
Harvey Lloyd
6 years ago #29
Politics and religion are two very touchy subjects within social media. Unfortunately it is difficult to discuss these areas because the topics have been polarized into right and wrong issues of the day. My comment was really to discuss in highly polarized subject matter there is a way to communicate. My goal is to get folks engaged with their communications as it is needed to guide humanity to the next century. But most do not want to engage. They fear the thought police will show up from either side, bomb their village and take their children, social media terrorism if i can continue polarizing language that only enrages and not engages. There is a way to engage. We need only find our purpose within the engagement. The purpose has to be bigger than the people, not selling, not buying merely laying out perspectives advantage/disadvantage. Looking at religion we can discuss it as a way of life, a choice. It gives us guidance when we are uncertain of what to do, it helps us understand the world that science doesn't understand. Religion is not a science. It is a belief system that keeps us inside a domain that we can make heads or tails of in our daily life. Science only offers us facts, the earth is round. In your ten o'clock meeting today i am unsure how this will help you empower those in the meeting to meet their goals. Religion covers these situations. I need not prove my religion to anyone but me.
Cyndi wilkins
6 years ago #28
Ah yes...the big dog in the little dog body;-) I think we all feel that way when we see what we perceive as an injustice Lisa Vanderburg...and the anger I was referring to was not necessarily yours...It's collective...and nobody likes a 'bully'...But what I meant by taking pause to anger is to examine the big picture and identify what is triggering our own responses to it...My best guess is there is a deep seated issue left unchecked...anger and defensiveness give rise when we are feeling vulnerable or wounded in some way...Doing a little digging and making sure it fits the current situation gives us opportunity to respond appropriately rather than being over-run by 'reactive' emotion...Emotions are wonderful motivators but they can also be very deceptive manipulators;-) Love ya!!
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #27
This is the crux of the matter that you have revealed to me: I'm probably more used to one-dimensional men that multiples because of my years as a chef. I also am used to multiples that are highly intelligent but dangerous...psychopathic ways. What I'm probably not used to is single-dimensional, highly intelligent males. My husband's a well-educated pussy-cat; he has two diseases and his primary is unbridled optimism, which has prevented him from seeing what's about to hit the fan...made me limber :) You're a star, Harvey Lloyd
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #26
Fascinating and truly helpful points; thank you Harvey Lloyd. Before I read your next comment, I'll try to answer this: Certainly, as far as I understand the DiSC profiling, I think all of us, regardless of sex, are endowed with multiple or single letters. You explain very well about male interactions between a multiple and a singular. And that's the ilk of mistake I made; not taking into account the difference in the sexes. What are those differences? Tricky....but I love your double entendre! :)
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #25
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #24
As always Lisa \ud83d\udc1d Gallagher, I listen when you speak. About time I tamed my dragon that seems to only want to defend others but never myself....bloody reptiles :)
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #23
You are brilliant Sara Jacobovici wonderful buzz: https://www.bebee.com/producer/@milos-djukic/writing-and-editorial-board-in-social-networks#c85 We now have a nearly proper 'fork' instead of just 'tines'. Marvellous thought!
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #22
Right Anne \ud83d\udc1d Thornley-Brown, MBA? I'm curious....the females here are one helluva lot more intelligent and thoughtful in their responses even in conflict, it seems to me. Like all here on this buzz, we don't shy from disagreement, it's the tone and content that flags up comments that are just aggressive, so we have the sense to ditch them, no? I wrote this because it was men behaving brutishly here. On LI I've not had a problem, but that's probably because I stick to what I know on LI: Parkinson's Disease.
Harvey Lloyd
6 years ago #21
Harvey Lloyd
6 years ago #20
Harvey Lloyd
6 years ago #19
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #18
Bang on Melissa Hefferman - I'm gonna stick to my own sandpit...dunno what I was thinking! Thanks, darlin' :)
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #17
Wise words that I will heed, Devesh \ud83d\udc1d Bhatt!
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #16
Hearing you loud and clear Cyndi wilkins! My defence was not borne of anger but of trying to stop a couple of bulls from going too far (which they did regardless). What I realize now is that I shouldn't have been there in the first place; I was ready to bow out when the DMs started. It's my own fault - I've always thought I was bigger than I am :)
Ali Anani
6 years ago #15
Lisa Vanderburg- you wrote "nost welcome!". Did you mean not welcome ? :)))))
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #14
Very helpful Franci\ud83d\udc1dEugenia Hoffman, beBee Brand Ambassador, and I'm thankful! Seeing the 'fight' brewing, I made the mistake of trying to put out the fire, but I will LEARN! Looking forward to reading the buzz you sent - thanks!
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #13
Thanks Claire - agreed!
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #12
Deb \ud83d\udc1d Helfrich; absolutely every word of your comment is so very relevant and encouraging as it helps me to understand that the reasons are far less important that the actions. 'My own experience is that the immense time I invest in figuring out when and how to speak out is what is truly costly.' Perfectly sums up my position, and I concur: 'It is DISHEARTENING to me'...me too! Deeply grateful, sage friend!
Lisa Vanderburg
6 years ago #11
lol....my dad made me eat the whole thing; core, stem and branch :) Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee's, nost welcome!
Liesbeth Leysen, MSc.
6 years ago #10
Liesbeth Leysen, MSc.
6 years ago #9
Lisa Gallagher
6 years ago #8
Sara Jacobovici
6 years ago #7
Anne 🐝 Thornley-Brown, MBA
6 years ago #6
Devesh 🐝 Bhatt
6 years ago #5
Cyndi wilkins
6 years ago #4
Ali Anani
6 years ago #3
heat and then eat Pascal Derrien
Pascal Derrien
6 years ago #2
Ali Anani
6 years ago #1