Lisa Vanderburg

5 years ago · 2 min. reading time · 0 ·

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Life and death and re-birth.

Life and death and re-birth.

I just read Don Kerr's 'Catherine' buzz, which was so fitting a tribute to a life I never knew - he made me 'feel' as if I did. This was on the tail of Lisa Gallagher's the 'Process of dying....'; in which she pines for (yet understands) her clearly beloved Mother's memory...oh so fresh, but also introduced my to the extraordinary TedxBuffalo talk with Dr. Christopher Kerr.

I get it. 

Both Authors' address a specific type of dying; not accidental, not immediate, but not expected - acknowledged. Now we have a journey; a 'story' as Geoff Hudson-Searle alludes to here, which is about as polar-opposite as you can get, but you'll see what I mean!

It has not escaped me that dying can be a sacrament of sorts; a rite of passage. This...'knowing' of impending death is so extremely intimate is is almost sacred to be part of.

When my most beloved sister and BFF  in the world told me of her terminal diagnosis at the age of 58. We'd been to Florida to visit a son and upon our return, she announced. She didn't wan't to mess up our time away,  so it was with a sort of 'my love - just look at what I won...I'm so lucky!' She was HAPPY! I was stunned, confused, but not so befuddled (post-absorption) that she saw her stage 4 cancer as such. We both had spent out lives waiting to die; yup - know how crazy that sounds. She won, but her heart broke for leaving me behind...I knew that. I spent every possible hour with her up until the moment of her death (and beyond). My grief was unlike anything I could even imagine. But, wow - what a year she had post dx - time abroad with her children, intimacy, freedom, joy, love - all renewed. She was FREE at last, and still in her life!

Me and her, we shared a bonding borne by such ferocity that had some time back cost us another sister. I was overjoyed by her new found freedom; always a shut-in before that wonderful diagnosis! I longed to join her.

Yet, I knew...I knew... 

I knew I had other responsibilities and loves  - not the least my children and husband, whom I love dearly, but the bond forged in fire, fear and ferocity; they never leave. Some part of me was rent asunder; I yearn for release, but it is not my time. She was and is the most beautiful of God's creation, despite her ever-gaping wounds. Our love, our shared trials; my loss - all those I acknowledge and now, am thankful for. She left me for a better place.

P.S. There will be some; like my dear friend Ali 🐝 Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee that have seen far too much tragedy to want to 'live alongside' this buzz. I get that too....

If you love them, let them go....
Author (loosely), Kahil Gibran

Pic courtesy of Videolar "
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Lisa Vanderburg

5 years ago #15

My sincere acknowledgement of your loss, lovely Lynne Black is sorrow, as well death affords those we leave behind. No matter my opinion of what is next, it has to be better than this, no? NB: that's not a negative statement, but even if we lived in full mental and physical health, we naturally degrade and increasingly become witness to the weight of the world's pain.
I hear you. But why not stick around and see what happens? Death comes regardless.

Lisa Vanderburg

5 years ago #13

Such beauty of depth, sweet Joyce \ud83d\udc1d Bowen Brand Ambassador @ beBee. Some of us straddle both worlds simply because we are made to. Death doesn't hold any fear for me, but life?...that's another thing!

Lisa Vanderburg

5 years ago #12

Hi Edward Lewellen!! I first cannot escape nor deny the love and loss of your child - that you have learned to breathe again is fittingly profound as a tribute to her. ooh...another place to get your book - ta! I'll probably get the kindle version, but PLEASE forgive me if I'm tardy as I'm moving house in the next month or so and haven't found a suitable box for my husband; he needs it to hide from ME...eek! :) It is a joy to converse with you again, dear man! What you said about my sister's last year made her whole life - such joy!

Lisa Vanderburg

5 years ago #11

I will most certainly be privileged to comment on Edward Lewellen - my feathers need a bit more spit & polish! :)
If we dream about death, we never truly live.

Ali Anani

5 years ago #9

I would love to read your comment if you get the chance to read the book of our friend Edward Lewellen. Dear friend Lisa Vanderburg your reference to my buaa is a new layer of wisdom on the shell of experiences. You know how to express yourself with generosity and sheer kindness. You are a friend.

Lisa Vanderburg

5 years ago #8

My dear Ali \ud83d\udc1d Anani, Brand Ambassador @beBee. I stand with you in your loss, following your example to honor that pain to hone character, for even the deepest wounds eventually will scar over; it amazes me to think we have come full circle to your buzz Try as I may, I cannot imagine the loss of my child as Edward Lewellen knows ; I cannot even begin to say anything to convey my sorrow, but I will look out for that book, which I suspect will be more life-affirming than I can conceive! Many thanks my friend, in humility.

Ali Anani

5 years ago #7

Not only I have a kind mention in your buzz dear Lisa Vanderburg, nut also I share a similar story. I lost my brother when he was 47 because of brain tumor. Like you do, I remember our great moments together and this is my relief. I wrote the forward for the book on "The 90-Second Mind Manager" by my friend Edward Lewellen who also lost his daughter for the same reason. Reading the book relieved me and I strongly recommend it for your readers.

Lisa Vanderburg

5 years ago #6

Absolutely and totally fascinating, sweet Cyndi wilkins - you found the irony in between life and death!

Lisa Vanderburg

5 years ago #5

darlin' Deb \ud83d\udc1d Helfrich; thank you! 'Such a tremendously hard mindstate to get to...there is no way to help or advise someone else about how to get to this state...' So true....

Lisa Vanderburg

5 years ago #4

So right Pascal Derrien - thank you!

Cyndi wilkins

5 years ago #3

Many of us never truly begin to live until we are made 'aware' that we are dying...Let me just enhance that a bit...AWARENESS of impeding death has a way of creating more LIFE...Is that not fascinating?

Jan 🐝 Barbosa

5 years ago #2

Hope these life vs death events come much later.. think im not prepared to confront them yet... well.. who is ???

Pascal Derrien

5 years ago #1

I guess people who have seen a lot of tragedy usually don't turn a blind eye, they relate even if they don't necessarily want to demonstrate :-)

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